Have you ever had the moment in your life where you become lost? Perhaps not physically lost.. I know exactly where I am, and I have always been a good navigator thanks to my inherent abilities of figuring out my internal compass directions, but I mean more the emotionally, mentally, soul-bound lost. The kind of lost where it feels like nothing really permeates that armor (or perhaps not so thick-skin) of yours. Even the classics aren’t getting a rise out of you. For me, that means comic books, action movies, and even spending time with people I love and hold dear to my soul isn’t quite cutting it. Oh, I do just fine in the sporadic moments of happiness, but then I go right back to my monotonous self.
I blame it on no one but myself of course. Perhaps if I had not spontaneously quit my previous job and instead had calculated and waited… Perhaps I’d still be in a good mood. Or perhaps I’m kidding myself to even that timeline. Let’s be honest, I wasn’t happy there. I hated it there. I could feel my soul being sucked from me like a true Dementor’s Kiss. Except I had no expecto patronum up my sleeve and no matter the amount of chocolate, I just couldn’t get happy. So I faked it.
I began this blog to help track my progress on eliminating my debt. I think I need to rethink what all I want this to be. In fact, I believe I need to rethink my whole outlook.
I’ve been stuck in a rut for nearly a year and getting that new job hasn’t quite got me out of the funk like I thought it would. Oh sure, I enjoy it just fine. I love being able to say that I had a part in building that car that’s driving down the street, and the people I work with? Ha, they are just a hoot and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
But my personal life? What personal life? I watch television sometimes, but even now that’s off and I’m just spending my time procrastinating online surfing facebook and twitter… reading silly articles, or even more depressing ones that make the future look even more bleak.
I need to get back to my old self. I need to rekindle that fire I had in my belly. Perhaps I need to think about taking a course or two at my college again. I enjoyed being the academic. I need to turn on my music and just listen, and really listen. I need to dance to that music. I need to set fire to my creative process and start writing again. Not just here, but with my friends again. I need to read more, love more, explore more. I need that adventure, that thrill to come back.
I need to cultivate myself; find myself again… before I lose everything and it’s too late.
If that means forcing myself to do things, well I guess I’m just going to have to tell myself, “Suck it up, Buttercup,” and get on with it.
Count those Raindrops
May you and yours have a great year! Hope 2013 was wonderful too, but if it wasn’t, seize this one by the horns and rock it!
This month is a month of excitement! It’s a month of glittering lights and excitement. I’m ecstatic! My younger brother and sister-in-law are coming home for the holidays, and my other younger brother will be home from college as soon as finals are over. YAY! It’s going to be a time of great fun and enjoyment.
Car loan: $742.70 LAST PAYMENT! AHHHH!
Credit Cards: Look who’s left!
- Solidarity Visa: $1574.89 Minimum payment: $66.00. This month’s payment will be $74.89.
- Chase: $1866.69 Minimum payment: $42.00. This month’s payment will be $292.69.
- Pay Pal Bill Me Later: $2,290.03 Minimum payment: $62.00. This month’s payment will be $190.03. (12/06).
- Amazon Store Card: $483.23 Minimum payment: $35.00. This is the card I’m currently eliminating. This month’s payment will be $183.23. (12/18).
Total Credit Debt: $7,257.69 Total Payments: $729.69. This is compared to last month’s credit debt of $7,257.69 and total payments of: $729.69, which means my debt went down $220.96. Mer.. this isn’t a huge dent, but I will admit that I am targeting a couple of other things first (namely the student loans).
Direct Loan Great Lakes: $18,837.69 Currently deferred until January. However, I am making a payment this month. 237.69.
Even though this loan is deferred, I am still gaining interest on the loans. This payment this month is basically all of the interest that has been gained since I first deferred this student loan when I was unemployed. As I was still unemployed when I deferred last July, I have a little time to hit the ground running on this debt.
Other anticipated bills this month:
Car Insurance Payment:
Cellphone service: $50.
Complete Total Debt: $27,037.25. Total Payments: $1467.55. This is compared to last month’s $27,037.25. debt total and $1467.55 in payments. That unfortunately means that I increased my debt by $284.47. Crap! Do remember that I paid 14 months rent in one payment with the purchase of an island.
Please let it rain!
Tonight is the night that is filled with movies like Hocus Pocus, the Corpse Bride, and culminates with Nightmare Before Christmas.
And when the clock strikes midnight, IT IS NO LONGER TABOO TO PLAY CHRISTMAS SONGS!
Well.. I was going to be doing the 31 day challenge, but I couldn’t find one that I liked for October. Annnd I ended up pulling 20 hours of overtime this past week so I’ve been basically sleeping when I’m not at work (aha). I think I’ll do something for November though. Like 30 days of Thanks. I like it.
What about you? Care to join me?
Count those Raindrops!
That’s right, if you happen to enjoy reading multiple blogs in one spot, BlogLovin is certainly an app that helps accomplish that! Blogger, WordPress, and Typepad alike, we can all co-mingle as a happy family!
Wow! I never thought I would be saying that I have over 1000 views on my blog! Well… okay, maybe I did, but I certainly didn’t see it happening so soon! I was honestly thinking I would hit the thousand mark at about the year anniversary. Yeah.. I had high hopes. 😉
Anyway, thank you so much for the readership! I really, really appreciate it! So this might be the time to let you all know that I am planning on moving the blog to a dedicated server. It’s time to start monetizing the blog because of the unemployment status. Every little bit of income needs to be squeezed from the things I’m doing right now to make ends meet.
I will still be very active on WordPress. And the move probably won’t happen until next week as there is still theme hunting that I have to do, but I am grateful once again for you all stopping by my place! Thank you so much!
Count those Raindrops!